![]() But then the platforming feels like something from a 16-bit game about a furry animal with a cool attitude, complete with collapsing and returning ledges and pipes that regularly drip snot, and the whole thing starts to feel a bit silly. Blimey, if you thought Dark Souls was grim, this is Dark Souls getting dragged off by the Cenobites to listen to Norwegian black metal for eternity. Yeah, let's get all the fucking Souls-likes out of the way first! Blasphemous is another attempt at 2D Souls-liking with a striking theme: the premise is that all of the Catholic guilt in medieval Europe has somehow manifested physically, and the result is about what you'd expect. This is a thing that happens! It built a fanservice hot springs episode into its fucking mechanics! And after the second main boss in a row was a giant demonic stripper with their juicy jugs flapping about, I made the decision to stop playing before my Amazon recommendations became too embarrassing. ![]() This is a game where the character customizer has 90 billion hairdos and two noses a game where one of the facilities in your home base is a hot spring, and if you get in it, female characters will show up in skimpy towels. Code Vein is another Souls-like with combat that's generally "fine" and boring level design, but it has one thing that makes it notable: it's the most anime game I've ever played. Jedi: Fallen Orderbeing a Souls-like probably indicates that Souls-likes are officially overdone I mean, that's like when your dad starts getting into your new favorite band. It's hard to get your bile churning about something that's "fine", but I'll give it a go: "Urgh, The Surge 2! Your level design is so fucking mildly confusing, it makes me want to vomit diarrhea out of my nose, and OH GOD, if I have to fight another fucking generic dude with misplaced IKEA parts glued to their armpits, I'm going to, erm, shit earwax out of my piss-hole." I think I'm already seeing the inherent issue with this video's premise: most games that I didn't feel like reviewing when they came out were just "fine". ![]() (game titles are spoken by a female computer voice)ĭeck13's " sci-fi Dark Souls with industrial lifting equipment" returns with better parrying mechanics and not so much cripple torture porn, finally raising the series to the dizzy heights of "basically okay". Well, since we're coming up on the end of the year, I thought gathering a whole bunch of such games from 2019 into one video and swearing at them en masse would be both efficient and fun! Cunningly, this means they will all magically become eligible for the year-end Best, Worst and Blandest awards, not that this year's Blandest Games list needed much fucking padding! but there are many games that fail to meet the cut just because I didn't have much to say. The process of choosing games to review here at Zero Punctuation involves several factors - the existing profile of the game, whether or not I got through it before the edibles kicked in, etc.
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